I think that we would change only when we stop trying to change ourselves and start accepting ourselves just as we are.

 I was hunting my better me for so many years, trying to be better (spiritual lol), reading tons of motivational literature etc.

 Then I was so tired and exhausted that I simply HAD to stop improving myself.

 And - now I feel much beter and more spiritual than when I was trying hard to be a such person! What a relief - I allowed myself to be what I AM!

 What experience do you have?