Through this darkest moment in my life. I have never found comfort... Never found peace. I once again face a loosing battle. I have left my soul a long time ago. I have learned not to only hurt myself but others as well. I am now trapped within my lies. Being dishonest as I am have caused me to much suffering and is now killing most of the people that has treasured me. I have failed to see the gifts that I once possessed. Gifts that I can never gain. Gifts that once were mine.

I once was honest. I was once right. I do not know what went wrong. Perhaps pride, dreams and greed corrupted me. Now it's to late to go back. There is nothing that I can go back to now. I have lost everything. Nothing left but this life that has been messed up and refuses to get any better on whatever effort I exert, nothing just seem to fall into place... just into pieces.

The devil has triumphed over me. I have given my all and was able to achieve time of happiness... moments that is worth my sorrowful life. But I have failed to cradle those moments in my arms. Now it has flown.

I have never been sorry as much as I am now. I just sometimes wish that all these will soon come to an end. I hope that life has something better in store for me. I bet on a gamble I am not knowing how much to loose. Hoping that one day, tears will dry and peace will be found... but there is such place that is waiting for me, a place full of peace and at one with my self, a place without grief, greed nor suffering, a place where my pride, dreams, and even fear won't matter... a place that is six feet under...