FROM THE UNITED CHURCH OF CANADA SERVICE LAST SUNDAY.

We pray for the children who sneak popsicles before supper, who erase holes in math workbooks, who never can find their shoes.

And we pray for those who stare at photographs from behind barbed wires, who can't bound down the street in new sneakers, who are born in places we wouldn't be caught dead, who never go to the circus, who live in an x-rated world.



We pray for children who bring us sticky kisses and fistful of dandelions, who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.

And we pray for those who never get dessert, who have no safe blanket to drag behind them, who watch their parents watch them die, who can't find any bread to steal, who don't have any rooms to clean up, whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser, who's monsters are real.


We pray for children who spend all their allowance before Tuesday, who throw  tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food, who like ghost stories, who shove dirty clothes under the bed and never rinse out the tub, who get visits from the tooth fairy, who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool, who squirm in church or temple and scream in the phone, whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those whose nightmares come in the daytime, who have never seen a dentist, who aren't spoiled by anybody, who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep, who live and move, but have no being.


We pray for children who want to be carried and for those who must be, for those we never give up on, and for those who don't get a second chance. For those we smother with attention and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.

O God, we pray for all your children. Amen.

United Churches Invited to Focus on Children in Foster Care

Monday, November 16, 2009

Toronto: This Sunday, many United Church members attending church services will be praying for a very particular group of children—children in care.

In August 2009, the United Church’s 40th General Council declared that the theme of this year’s Children’s Sunday, November 22, would focus on the thousands of Canadian children who are currently in the care of child protection agencies.

“Foster children are an invisible population whose challenges are not widely understood,” says Delores Feltmate of the Children and Youth in Crisis Taskforce of the United Church’s Maritime Conference.

The Taskforce initiated the proposal to have this year’s Children’s Sunday focus on children in care as an opportunity to draw the church’s attention not only to the needs of the children but also the caregivers—the foster parents, social workers, and community agencies who work to provide a more secure and stable life for children whose family situations often leave them severely traumatized.

“Canada’s child protection system is desperately in need of care itself,” comments the church’s Moderator, Mardi Tindal. She explains that she hopes that by inviting United Church congregations to focus this Sunday’s worship on children in care, many more people will become aware of the problems that plague the system.

“Children have a right to be nurtured and cared for regardless of their circumstances,” says Tindal. “My hope is that as a result of this focus on children in care, many United Church congregations will hear and respond to the cry for justice from children in their own communities.”

Two weeks ago, Thermaltake came to us with an updated version of the Toughpower XT series. Since that model did so well, Thermaltake was curious to see how the updated version of the 850W model stacked up against the older revision I reviewed here. And so, I find myself here today looking at the Toughpower XT line for the third time. Will the 850W I have in front of me today make up for the poor showing the previous version had here at jonnyGURU.com? Let's all find out together.

Naturally, like every review, we start out with a box picture. And like every Toughpower XT review, the box is the same thing we've all seen before.

"Hey, can I help with this one?"
Who said that! I demand to know where that voice is coming from!
"Down here."
Oh. Hey, would you look at that. I have a box elder bug in the lab today. Hey, little guy! Sure, you can give me a hand with this one.
"I'm a girl."
Sorry. Say, what happened to your other antenna?
"I got in a fight with a spider."
So, do you have a name I can call you before we continue with this review?
"You can just call me Bugula."
Bugula? Are you serious? That's the best name you can come up with?
"I'm really a ladybug. This is my Halloween costume. I ate too much sap candy and couldn't get it off again. Bugula seems fitting."
Ok, ok. Bugula it is. Let's move on to the next shot.

"There seems to be a lot of stuff printed on this box. Maybe you should run it down for our readers."
Sigh. I'm not going to type all that out again.
"Are all humans this lazy?"
No, just me. And you might not want to insult this human considering I could just close that box flap on you.
"I apologize. You clearly are a model of action in the universe. Why, every fiber, every molecule, every atom of your being simply screams 'yes, I am willing to do anything for my readers.' When small children look at you they are inspired by your willingness to go out and do what needs to be done, and world leaders look to you for an example of..."
Enough! Just for that, I'm cutting and pasting again.

• 12Vin1:
  As the 12Vrails deliver the major power to many of the components in a modern PC system, it is important to ensure each 12V rail provides adequate current for the relevant components. Inadequate current in any rail or poor distribution of current among the rails may lead to serious compatibility problems. Thermaltake understands your worries of the compatibility between PSU and your system, so we implement a pure and powerful single 12V rail to provide the best compatibility for your PC.
  -oh, man... where to begin. Friends, a properly designed and well built PSU is a properly designed and well built PSU, regardless of 12V rail topology. I know single 12V designs that suck lemons, and I know sextuple designs that utterly rock the house. The key is to do your homework beforehand and buy a unit appropriately sized to your hardware needs, and you will find that for the most part the unit's designers have done their job properly, whether your target PSU is single 12V or not.
• High Quality Japanese Capacitor:
  Capacitors play very important roles in a power supply unit. Poor capacitors may lead to shorter life time, system instability, voltages fluctuating, and even damage the power supply unit. Toughpower XT series, built to the highest standard of quality, has implemented the high quality capacitors on the primary side and also the secondary side. All the high quality capacitors in Toughpower XT power supply units are Japanese-made and have the highest level of workmanship.
  -while this is all pretty much true, they left one out here. Failing capacitors can also increase ripple and noise, because they can no longer suppress it properly. But you'd have to be running a poorly built unit with "out of the back of a white van" capacitors to worry about that much these days. Many second tier capacitor brands like Teapo and Samxon actually do pretty well in computer SMPS use.
• S.P.T. Indicator:
  Traditional power supplies tell you nothing about the status of your PSU so users find no way to protect their PSUs against failure. To help you monitor your power supply, Toughpower XT series utilizes S.P.T. indicator to indicate the standby mode, the power good signal, and the temperature of your PSU, bringing you the real-time monitoring over the power supply.
  -I expect this is somewhat more useful than the less common S.P.A. indicator, which only tells you if you have a Jacuzzi.
• S.F.C. Quiet:
  Noise can be annoying and even harmful to human health. To bring the best comfortability to users, Thermaltake's designers minimize the noise generated by our products to the lowest level. All Toughpower XT power supply units' 14cm dual ball bearing cooling fan is equipped with S.F.C. Quiet technology so that the fan always operates at optimal speed (according to temperature inside the power supply unit) for the quietest performance.
• FanDelayCool:
  Thermaltake lab, after years of careful tests and experiments, has discovered many of the PSU failures are caused by the fan's immediate stop after powering off. To better protect your power supply, FanDelayCool, derive from high-end projector's cooling fan, enables users to control how long the 14cm fan should continue to operate (up to 30 seconds) after system shutdown. This is to assure all components inside the power supply to be thoroughly cooled off.
  -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Years of tests? Many failures? Projector cooling fans? Give me a break here. This feature is something I like, because the primary side of the unit along with the standby circuits is always up and running on most of these things, but this blurb is stretching things just a bit. If this unit is built on the platform I think it is (we'll see on page four), this little feature has been present on it already for years. You just couldn't turn the feature off, like this one claims, and more often than not it was undocumented. Moreover, the most heat susceptible components are the capacitors. A unit like this, using the good stuff from Japan, would never ever have to worry about a significantly shortened life span just because the fan didn't stay on after shutdown. It's a nice feature, but you won't be overrun with a plague of box elder bugs if it's not there.
• High Quality
  As a new generation of ultra enthusiast system, Toughpower XT series has been built to the world's highest standard of quality, providing users with Thermaltake quality 5-year warranty for parts and labor. Besides, all the high quality capacitors in Toughpower XT power supply units are Japanese-made and have the highest level of workmanship. Engineers at Thermaltake lab have made every effort to ensure each Toughpower XT Series power supply unit satisfies our severe requirements for quality, durability, and performance.
• Performance
  Toughpower XT Series power supply unit features a number of cutting-edge innovations that set it above the competition. New features such as FanDelayCool for thorough cooling, S.P.T. indicator, and 12Vin1 will all bring users the best performance. Besides, using exceptional quality materials and components has even made Toughpower XT Series qualifies for higher 80Plus efficiency standard.
  -just a quick note here... high quality and high efficiency are two different things. You can have one without the other.
• Quiet
  To deliver a whole new user experience to users, Thermaltake's designers minimize the noise generated by our products to the lowest level. All Toughpower XT power supply units' 14cm dual-ball bearing cooling fan is equipped with Japanese 8mm bearing system and S.F.C. Quiet technology so that the fan always operates at optimal speed (according to temperature inside the power supply unit) for the quietest performance.

Features:

• High-quality Japanese-made capacitors provide superb performance and reliability
• S.P.T. indicator indicates standby, PG signal, and temperature status of the power supply
• FanDelayCool: FDC cooling function can be selected to adjust the amount of time the cooling fan keep running after after system shutdown
• 12Vin1: single 12V rail provides the best compatibility for the latest components
• Gold-plated connectors for superior conductivity
• Meet 80PLUS efficiency requirement: Eco-friendly design for the highest efficiency, least heat, and also lowers energy bills
• TT5Years Warranty: Thermaltake quality 5-years parts and labor warranty
• 14cm ball bearing cooling fan with Japanese made 8mm bearing system

"It looks like the back of the box has some fancy tables and stuff. What's this one for?"
Why, that one tells you how many connectors and cables come with each model in the series. This is the 850 watt model, so you'd look under that column there. See?
"Hey, I can read fine, human. What's that over there?"
That graph? That's a fancy graphic showing what happens to the case temperature when a power supply is turned off and the fans immediately quit spinning. The red line is supposed to be a traditional power supply, and the blue line is this one with its fan delay.
"It says that lower temperatures are better there. Gee, even I knew that."
Haha - yeah. I've mocked that line a couple of times myself.
"That table up there in the upper left corner - that's a set of specifications, right?"
Yes. And there are several pictures of some of the fancy stuff Thermaltake wants us to know about right next to it, like the Japanese capacitors and S.P.T. indicators.
"A cousin of mine works in a Japanese capacitor factory. He's a horsefly. He works in the cafeteria. Sometimes in the bathrooms."
That's... ugh... fascinating, but it has nothing to do with this review.
"Sorry. I'm a bug, I have a short attention span."
Well, let me unpack the box and we'll see if we can't engage your interest again, dear Bugula.

"Ooh! I like this! It's so brown and earthy! It's like being home out by the maple tree, getting ready to feast on some nice delicious sap!"
That's the power supply itself you're crawling on, there. That big black thing is the bag full of modular cables. There's also a power cable, a manual, some papers, and another bag full of goodies I'll show you later on.
"This power supply thing looks like it could get warm. I like warm. Can I climb into these holes up here?"
Uh, no, you don't want to do that. See, I'm going to be load testing that thing later. There's going to be all kinds of hazardous voltages in there.
"Bugger! Ha... see what I did there?"
Yes, yes, you made a terrible pun, I saw. We all saw. I'm sure we'd all like to un-see that now.

"What's all this stuff?"
Well, going from left to right, we have a warranty information sheet, a green "Key 3 Spirit" sheet, and a black marketing sheet that tells you how thankful Thermaltake is that you bought one of these.

"This must be the user manual. I like this part, it says here all Toughpower XT power supplies have these status indicators."
Yes, that's right. At least, all the ones I've looked at had those. Hey, wait... are you reading the German section?
"Yep. Can't you read it?"
Nein! I mean, no! This is amazing, a box elder bug with one antenna who can talk and read German!
"Hey, I may be a bug, but I'm not stupid. Think about that the next time you swat a fly."
I'll be sure to do that once they let me out of the loony bin I'm sure to be locked up in once this review goes live.

"What's that over there?"
Oh, that's the SunMoon SM-268 I'll be using to load test this unit. It's an impressive looking machine, but if you could turn around a moment I'm showing off the power supply itself to our readers.

"Hey, I can almost see myself in there! I just love this finish, I can't say it enough."
Well, I'm still not sure I feel the same as you about it. It just doesn't do much for me.
"Why didn't they sleeve that big bunch of wires into the case? I like pretty colors as much as the next bug, but those wires look a little out of place like that."
Yeah, I've commented on that before, too. Lets show our readers what they'll be looking at if they have a windowed case.

"That's a big metal sticker that covers the whole side of the unit, isn't it?"
Yes it is. And I think I'm going to get lazy again because of it. I won't be taking this unit apart on page four like I usually do.
"Why?"
You see, Thermaltake hid some of the screws for this unit under that big metal sticker. I have to destroy the sticker to get the unit apart, and I'm not really feeling the will to do that this time. Also, this unit is but a normal Channel Well PSH based unit with a few tweaks. One can consult either my last review or the review of the previous version of this unit to see what these look like inside.
"Did you say Channel Well? My uncle works there."
How is it you know all these insects from halfway around the world?
"Hey, I'm your hallucination. You tell me."

"You know, I may be just a bug, but even to me that stamped fan grille seems unappealing."
I don't know - it seems ok to me, Bugula. I guess I'm neither put off nor excited about it.
"I suppose as long as it gets the job done. Hey, how about you show our readers a spec label?"
Right. Here you go, readers.

"Hahahahaha! That's a good joke!"
What's a good joke? I don't see anything funny up there.
"That 12V rating! Look, don't you see it?"
It's a single 62 ampere 12 volt rail. Not too bad. What am I missing?
"Go back and look at the specs on the 750W Toughpower XT again. You'll see."
I don't see anyth... oh. Now I see. The 750W model has a 60A 12V rail. This unit only offers two amperes more 12V capacity than its little brother. That's not funny, that's sad. It looks like all the extra power is made up on the 3.3V and 5V rails. Useless for a modern 12V based computer.

This here is the back panel, where all the modular cables plug in. If you take a look, Bugula, you'll see that the red connectors for the PCI-E cables are differently sized and colored from the black peripheral connectors. Bugula? Where are you?
"Over here!"

"That's a long ATX cable! Wow! It would take me a good five minutes to crawl my way along that!"
Yes, it's got some good length to it, doesn't it? It's 640mm long. I need to unpack this little accessory bag and show our readers what's in it before we get to the cable length table.
"You go ahead, I'm going to go find a snack. If I'm not back in time for the conclusions, don't wait for me."
Ok, I'll see you when I see you.

Now that Bugula's crawled away on us, here are the extra goodies the XT units come with. Some velcro cable ties, a case sticker, some screws, a rubber isolation gasket, two 8 pin to 6 pin PCI-E adapters, and one 4 pin ATX12V extension cable.

Lucky me, I was able to just cut and paste again, for this unit has the exact same cable complement as that 750W version I just looked at two weeks ago.

I love to read Jeremy's work, even though I know nothing about power supplies! Great sense of humor, don't you think?

Oh... hello there. I didn't see you come in, what with me hanging all these Halloween decorations. What? Santa Claus isn't a Halloween thing? Sigh - ok. But I'm not taking off the Ghostbusters costume.

While I'm doing that, take a look at the following picture. Today's review sample comes from Thermaltake in the Toughpower XT, 750 watt model. You'll recall that the last time I took a look at this line, it turned out to be overwhelmingly expensive and underwhelmingly bland as a performer. Since then, Thermaltake has gone back to the drawing board to try and bring the performance level up a bit. We'll see if they were successful in a little while.

For now, while Egon over there practices drilling holes in his head, we'll examine some box pictures. Five year warranty. 80 Plus Bronze. High Quality. Performance. Quiet. These are all things promised by the box front. These were all things promised by the last Toughpower XT model I looked at.

Oh, no you don't, Thermaltake. I'm not typing all this out again. Say hello to my little friends - the control and V keys. I'm going to copy and paste this right down to most of my snarky little comments. Yes, the box marketing is identical to the stuff from the XT 850W review.

• 12Vin1:
  As the 12Vrails deliver the major power to many of the components in a modern PC system, it is important to ensure each 12V rail provides adequate current for the relevant components. Inadequate current in any rail or poor distribution of current among the rails may lead to serious compatibility problems. Thermaltake understands your worries of the compatibility between PSU and your system, so we implement a pure and powerful single 12V rail to provide the best compatibility for your PC.
  -oh, man... where to begin. Friends, a properly designed and well built PSU is a properly designed and well built PSU, regardless of 12V rail topology. I know single 12V designs that suck lemons, and I know sextuple designs that utterly rock the house. The key is to do your homework beforehand and buy a unit appropriately sized to your hardware needs, and you will find that for the most part the unit's designers have done their job properly, whether your target PSU is single 12V or not.
• High Quality Japanese Capacitor:
  Capacitors play very important roles in a power supply unit. Poor capacitors may lead to shorter life time, system instability, voltages fluctuating, and even damage the power supply unit. Toughpower XT series, built to the highest standard of quality, has implemented the high quality capacitors on the primary side and also the secondary side. All the high quality capacitors in Toughpower XT power supply units are Japanese-made and have the highest level of workmanship.
  -while this is all pretty much true, they left one out here. Failing capacitors can also increase ripple and noise, because they can no longer suppress it properly. But you'd have to be running a poorly built unit with "out of the back of a white van" capacitors to worry about that much these days. Many second tier capacitor brands like Teapo and Samxon actually do pretty well in computer SMPS use.
• S.P.T. Indicator:
  Traditional power supplies tell you nothing about the status of your PSU so users find no way to protect their PSUs against failure. To help you monitor your power supply, Toughpower XT series utilizes S.P.T. indicator to indicate the standby mode, the power good signal, and the temperature of your PSU, bringing you the real-time monitoring over the power supply.
  -I expect this is somewhat more useful than the less common S.P.U.D. indicator, which only tells you if Slimer's in the house.
• S.F.C. Quiet:
  Noise can be annoying and even harmful to human health. To bring the best comfortability to users, Thermaltake's designers minimize the noise generated by our products to the lowest level. All Toughpower XT power supply units' 14cm dual ball bearing cooling fan is equipped with S.F.C. Quiet technology so that the fan always operates at optimal speed (according to temperature inside the power supply unit) for the quietest performance.
  -I don't know about you, but I'm hoping those letters don't stand for Super Fighting Chicken. I'd hate to have a Peter Griffin moment up in here. I already have too many moments like that. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway... no, wait, on second thought, I don't think I should complete that sentence if I want to keep what's left of my sanity.
• FanDelayCool:
  Thermaltake lab, after years of careful tests and experiments, has discovered many of the PSU failures are caused by the fan's immediate stop after powering off. To better protect your power supply, FanDelayCool, derive from high-end projector's cooling fan, enables users to control how long the 14cm fan should continue to operate (up to 30 seconds) after system shutdown. This is to assure all components inside the power supply to be thoroughly cooled off.
  -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Years of tests? Many failures? Projector cooling fans? Give me a break here. This feature is something I like, because the primary side of the unit along with the standby circuits is always up and running on most of these things, but this blurb is stretching things just a bit. If this unit is built on the platform I think it is (we'll see on page four), this little feature has been present on it already for years. You just couldn't turn the feature off, like this one claims, and more often than not it was undocumented. Moreover, the most heat susceptible components are the capacitors. A unit like this, using the good stuff from Japan, would never ever have to worry about a significantly shortened life span just because the fan didn't stay on after shutdown. It's a nice feature, but you won't trigger the return of Gozer the Gozarian if your next unit doesn't have it.
• High Quality
  As a new generation of ultra enthusiast system, Toughpower XT series has been built to the world's highest standard of quality, providing users with Thermaltake quality 5-year warranty for parts and labor. Besides, all the high quality capacitors in Toughpower XT power supply units are Japanese-made and have the highest level of workmanship. Engineers at Thermaltake lab have made every effort to ensure each Toughpower XT Series power supply unit satisfies our severe requirements for quality, durability, and performance.
• Performance
  Toughpower XT Series power supply unit features a number of cutting-edge innovations that set it above the competition. New features such as FanDelayCool for thorough cooling, S.P.T. indicator, and 12Vin1 will all bring users the best performance. Besides, using exceptional quality materials and components has even made Toughpower XT Series qualifies for higher 80Plus efficiency standard.
  -just a quick note here... high quality and high efficiency are two different things. You can have one without the other.
• Quiet
  To deliver a whole new user experience to users, Thermaltake's designers minimize the noise generated by our products to the lowest level. All Toughpower XT power supply units' 14cm dual-ball bearing cooling fan is equipped with Japanese 8mm bearing system and S.F.C. Quiet technology so that the fan always operates at optimal speed (according to temperature inside the power supply unit) for the quietest performance.

Features:

• High-quality Japanese-made capacitors provide superb performance and reliability
• S.P.T. indicator indicates standby, PG signal, and temperature status of the power supply
• FanDelayCool: FDC cooling function can be selected to adjust the amount of time the cooling fan keep running after after system shutdown
• 12Vin1: single 12V rail provides the best compatibility for the latest components
• Gold-plated connectors for superior conductivity
• Meet 80PLUS efficiency requirement: Eco-friendly design for the highest efficiency, least heat, and also lowers energy bills
• TT5Years Warranty: Thermaltake quality 5-years parts and labor warranty
• 14cm ball bearing cooling fan with Japanese made 8mm bearing system

Now that we've gone through all that hype for the second time, let's take a peek at the back of the box. Don't mind Egon and Ray - they always play with the toaster like that. Hey, guys - stop insulting the slime. I have a review to write, here, and you're messing up my concentration.

Featuring yet more marketing, the back of the box is nothing we haven't seen before in the last Thermaltake review. We get an internal temp comparison chart that proclaims that lower temps are better (gee, ya think?), a diagram on what connectors come with what unit, and some output specs for three different models.

As was the case with the 850 watt unit, removing the box reveals another box. I'll just go ahead and unpack. You know, the Ectomobile has a really annoying siren. Let me just grab this hammer here and I'll be right back.

Ah, blessed silence. Above, you can see what we get with this unit. It's pretty much the same thing we got with the 850W model. Some velcro ties, a rubber gasket, some PCI-E adapters, a power cord, a bag of modular cables, a case badge, a manual, a warranty info sheet, a "Key 3 Spirit" sheet, and... by golly, there's still enough room for a power supply. Cool! No, Egon, you cannot have the power supply when I'm done with it. Here, play with my proton pack instead. No, I will not blow my nose and then give it to you to keep. Go bug Venkman for a while.

The above shot is my subtle attempt to get them to hurry up and make Ghostbusters 3. Think it'll work? This here is a shot of the three extras that come in the bag with the manual - a sheet of yet more marketing hype, the "Key 3 Spirit" thing, and the warranty info sheet. Let's zoom in on that warranty thing for a second.

As you can see here, Thermaltake has laid out for us the warranty lengths of all their units. Some of these warranty durations are a fair bit behind the competition, yes? I mean, Corsair's gone to a seven year thing on their high end units, and all we get with the high end "Toughppower" series is five. A minor nitpick, but a nitpick nonetheless.

Why yes, Mr. Fuji is dressed like Slimer, thanks for asking. And the above picture is dressed as a user guide. A very, very large user guide.

Why am I drippings vit goo? Oh... it's because Mr. Fuji slimed me. Thanks a bunch, Mr. Fuji. Fortunately, he got no slime in the above shot, which shows us some more of the accessories I mentioned. Included are three harness adapters: two four to six pin PCI-E adapters and one four pin ATX12V extension cable.

Here's the unit itself, and it's done up in that same off brown color I found with the last XT model.

In an unfortunate turn, the one hardwired cable does not appear to be sleeved up into the case, detracting from the appearance somewhat.

Here's the back panel with its exhaust grille and "fan delay cool" switch. You can set that switch to auto, 15 seconds, or 30 seconds as desired. It controls how long the fan runs after shutdown.

As was the case with the 850W model I saw before, this unit has the same three LED treatment on the side panel. And, knowing the 850W, that big metal sticker is going to be a bear to glue back on once I take the unit apart. See, Thermaltake likes to hide screws for the cover under these metal labels, and I have to peel the labels back and bend them out of shape to get at those screws.

Here's a good look at the fan grille for you.

Here's a good look at the spec label for you. This unit has a single 60A 12V rail - not bad at all for a 750 watt model. Combined 3.3V/5V capacity is high enough to allow this unit to run older 5V based motherboards as well, like that old K7S5A in the closet.

Here's a good look at the modular connector panel for you. Four connectors for PCI-E cables, four connectors for peripheral cables, and one connector for the mainboard's CPU power cable.

Here's a shot of the one and only hardwired cable. It's 640mm long.

The modular cables in all their glory. Let's have us a table, and I'll see you on the next page.

I was reading an article in "Women's World" in May, when it really hit home to me that I needed the article! I am a music teacher and have taught probably 100s if not 1000s of children and adults in my life time, but never realized concieously that I also had to teach them how not to be too hard on themselves while practicing. This last year I had a little girl who would constantly say "I'm dumb" whenever she made a mistake, and her brother would get very frustrated when he couldn't get his piece perfect immediately. I realize that I will have to find a way to teach them to practise without constant frustration, even as I teach 3 special needs children as well, one being my granddaughter with FASD, whom we're raising.

Some excerpts from the article:

It's a fact: Millions of women expect way more of themselves than they do others. And while being a perfectionist isn't all bad, when it keeps you from feeling good about yourself-as it did Mary Coussons-Read and her daughter-it's time to be kinder to yourself!

From the kitchen Mary Coussons-Read listened as her six-year-old daughter, Jody, practised the piano. She's really coming along, the proud Denver mom smiled.

Suddenly, though, there was an off key-and the music stopped.

No big deal, Mary shrugged. Even Beethoven had to start somewhere.

But when Mary peeked into the room, what she saw broke her heart. Jody's shoulders were slumped, huge tears in her eyes.

"I'm no good at this!" she sobbed.

It was a feeling Mary knew well. And it struck her: If I don't want Jody  to be hard on herself, maybe I have to be kinder to myself, too...

All her life Mary had been a perfectionist. Back in school, if she didn't bring home straight A's, she'd think, "I'm stupid."

 Even now, as an adult with a satisfying career, a great marriage, and terrific kids, she was hypercrytical of herself. If she misplaced her keys, she'd say, "I'm an airhead." If she gained a few pounds she was "fat" and "weak".

"No", her husband Jim, protested, "just human."

When she had to pick up take out instead of a home-cooked meal for her family, she'd say, "I'm sorry." Because, while they didn't mind, Mary couldn't help but feel as though she'd failed somehow.

LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER

And now, as Jody broke down, other moments, other memories began to flood back to Mary.

Like when she took 4 year old Jody to a check up and the doctor mentioned, "She's put on some weight." It was a good thing, she was growing normally. But that's not what Jody heard.

"Mommy," she asked later, "am I fat?"

Or the times in kindergarten when Jody would come home in tears if she'd misspelled a word-and no amount of reassurance would help, until the next time she brought home a perfect paper.

But it wasn't until Jody started taking piano lessons that Mary realized just how self-critical -- how very much like her-- her little girl had become. Mary knew that saying negative things often erode self-esteem -- especially in young girls.

I want Jody to see how amazing she is! Mary thought.But first, she knew, she's have to stop cutting herself down.

So, pulling Jody close, Mary began, "It's okay to make mistakes."

"But I want to do it right!" Jody argued.

"I know," Mary nodded. "I'm like that, too. But think about it this way: Would yu tell a friend she wasn't doing a good job? Or would you let her try again?"

"I'd let her try again," Jody replied.

And that gave Mary an idea. "How about every time you hear me saying something not nice to myself, you tell me -- and I'll do the same for you."

"I can do that!" Jody brightened.

"No more 'Sorry's' unless you really have something to be sorry about," Mary declared. "And no more 'I can't!' Nobody's perfect. But you're pretty great!"

Smiling, Jody nodded, "Okay, Mommy!"